Updated: Jul 20, 2020
I wish I could say that love is easy, but that’s just not true. Falling in love is easy. It’s staying in love that’s hard. It’s hard to stay in love with a person. Life has a way of pulling you away from each other.
I think being in love is like treading water next to a person in the ocean. There you are, fighting the current, the winds, perhaps rain, and holding onto this person’s hand. It’s hard to stay next to each other. It’s hard and it’s exhausting as you get bumped around. He has to work hard to stay next to you, and you have to work hard to stay next to him. Constantly treading and treading and treading praying for calmer seas. Sometimes, you get so tired and worn out, the other person has to carry you. You float in front of him while he treads treads treads trying to keep him and you above water. Then sometimes, you need to carry him. You hold onto his shirt while he tries to float on his back, his eyes clinched shut to avoid the salt water. You try to keep a hold of him while he buoys and you tread. And you tread. And you tread.
Sometimes, something comes along that you can cling to. A piece of drift wood. Rotting, not stable but there. Maybe you want to cling to this rotting decaying tree flesh, but he knows it’s false. It’s not secure. We need to let it go. It’ll harm. It’s not good in the long term. So you have to let the driftwood go. Because if you don’t, you start clinging to that rather than to him. You’ll lose each other.
But sometimes the seas are calm. You’re swimming around in the clear clean water. Wondering at the ocean life and delighting in splashing each other. The sun is out, but it’s not too bright and it’s not too cloudy. Everything is just right, and it is a taste of heaven.
And sometimes it storms. The rain is relentless. It beats down upon the water and upon you and upon him. You float away from each other, than back, than away again. You pray for the darkness to pass. You pray for the winds to cease. Maybe you lose him, and you wonder if you’ve lost him forever… but then morning comes and he’s swimming back. And you hold each other’s hand again. Because you’re still a team in the storms and in the sunshine.
It’s so hard to stay there and it’s so easy to go. It would be so easy to turn and swim the other way. Indeed the ocean might even help you. And he couldn’t even catch you if you decided to go. Because the wind and the ocean and the current would all be on your side. You know though, that leaving would kill you. And him. So you need to keep fighting. And you need to keep treading. And you need to keep holding on to him. Because this is love, helping each other fight the winds and the rain and the currents and who else knows what’s out there. Love is not easy. But it is everything else. It is a gift. Without him, I would sink.