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A Year of Darkness

2020. I wonder how I will remember you?

Will I remember it as a year of death?

Probably. It’s the year our family matrichar passed into glory. Never again will I hear her encouraging words or get hugged that tightly by such strong yet frail arms.

Will I remember it as the year of strife?

Political strife. Racial strife. Familial strife. Romantic strife. Personal strife. Never have I been so frustrated with myself or the people in my orbit.

Will I remember it as the year of disease?

So many have fallen sick. Another entity has entered our homes and our families. An uninvited and unwelcome guest has barged in and made herself at home. How much do you acknowledge the stranger in the corner? Who’s present in every conversation, yet never inserts anything uplifting? She’s slowly strangling nations, families, and friends. With every sniffle, cough, sweat, I check over my shoulder to see if she’s there. She shows up at work, at birthdays, holiday, and the store.

Will I remember this as the year of loneliness?

When I think back to this year, will I think of late nights and early mornings. How this year I’ve longed to hold my loved one’s in my arms, stroke their hair, and kiss their cheeks. How I’ve longed to look them in the eye rather than at them on a screen.

Will I remember it as the year of brokenness?

Broken furniture. Broken phone. Broken friendships. Broken hearts. Broken homes. Broken promises. Broken nation. Broken soul. Broken, broken, broken.

Will I remember it as the year of struggle?

Struggling home. Struggling art. Struggling with work. Struggling friendships. Struggling marriage. Struggling mentally, physically, emotionationally, spiritually, and so much more.

Will I remember it as the year of sleeplessness?

Will I remember it as the year of binging?

Will I remember it as the year of ruined celebrations?

Will I remember it as the year of goodbyes without hellos on the other end?

I will remember this year as the year of overwhelming darkness.

Today when I opened my book, I read, “people walking in darkness, have seen a great light.”

We need that light in this dark year.

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